I’m back back back back, again. Hello from the other side of the internet. I expect you weren’t expecting to hear from me again so soon… well that’s life, it’s fleeting.
There are many reasons to love sex work twitter, the comedy, the gorgeous photo’s, the witty remarks and the delicious flirting. You can be educated, challenged, beguiled and moved all within half an hour. So who knew that a small discussion about my traumatic experience with education would lead to me wanting to give it another shot.
If you know me at all, or even just aware of how I tried to survive lockdown you will know that I love writing. Creative writing to be specific. It’s not something I ever got the chance to pursue in my youth as I was so committed to the stage and my illustrious dreams of playing a part every night for a clamouring audience.. well that dream kinda did come true in a sense didn’t it. During the slow and tortuous months of the pandemic I turned my hand to the one skill I have always relied on, the one unwavering skill I have known I’ve possessed all of my life. Story telling. You will have seen some of my work I hope and if you haven’t there’s an erotic plethora over on my patreon. Erotica was my first foray into creative writing that I actually shared with other humans, with eyes and brains and skills far beyond my own. The response I received was overwhelming, the pride I gained in myself was unmeasurable. It was a true moment of (un)adulterated pleasure.
I’ve always been able to regale a story with a keen mind that never stops creating. There are literally thousands of notes on both my phones where I’ve written down first chapters of things, the first scenes of a play or movie, the premise to a story that I just had to get out of my mind and into the notes just as I’ve pulled it fresh from the ether.
So during this twitter exchange I found myself challenged. Why after seven years since I retired from university am I still not pursuing my dreams?. Yes the dreams have change but in reality this just seems exactly where I was supposed to be. I’ve found myself later in life having evolved from the eager and energetic ingenue to a mature and inquisitive mistress of my own existence. So why don’t I finally take the raw talent I have and give it the chance to grow, thrive and possibly change my life once again.
Well not to be the buzz kill to this gorgeous fantasy before me but the same guillotine is hanging over me once again, the razor sharp and diabolic killer that brought an end to my venture the last time around. I am of course talking about money. The root of all evil. The one thing that shouldn’t stop someone from pursuing their dreams but it so cruelly does, over and over again. Now I’m not here asking some knight in shining armour to ride in on his horse made of £20’s. No, but that would be nice right?! The horse made of money. How cool would that be! Anyway, I digress. What I am doing is announcing my intention and saying I’m ready to give this another shot. Rolling the dice up the board and hoping they come up seven’s. Life is a gamble and this is one I want to take.
If you are reading this and you have somewhat grown fond of me, you’ll know what it means. And if you are reading this and wondering what you can do to help me achieve my goals… well simply, keep me booked as I’m going to have to pay for the whole course. (Insert Pain, so much pain). I’ll be doing it part time so it won’t be a start tomorrow and finish anytime soon. It’s a commitment and a long term investment. Hence my trepidation and why it’s taken me this long to finally bite the bullet and drag my tired and sceptical body back to the educators ready to turn me into a story creating demon fuelled on coffee and surgically attached to her laptop. A good look right?
But if you are reading this and you do fancy yourself as one of those knights I mentioned earlier (horse optional), there will be a super secret Wishlist for materials and books I may need etc.. and of course if you do fancy investing in my future then of course take a stab at my tuition each month, I would not be adverse to an arrangement if there are perhaps any ‘education daddies’ out there who are ready to ride in. But all in all, next year seems bright, positive and BUSY. If anyone can do two businesses and a degree it’s Madeleine De Winter and if you want to see this carnival of serious stupidity and potential nervous breakdown commence do book, book, book because I am doing this.
I shall bid my due and say goodbye for now. Who knows, maybe there is a lot of student/teacher role play on my horizon.. I mean, it’s been lacking and I’m about to join the ranks of the studious sex worker.
With all my love,