2019 A year end review

A look back at an unforgettable year.

Twenty Nineteen, two thousand and nineteen… the end of a decade, what are we calling it, the teens? The tens? I Personally would go with the former as this year has been much like your teenage years, a year of transition in many ways. So many up’s and down’s it been like sitting on a broken high speed rollercoaster with no way of getting off. 

This year was my first full year opening up my work to social media in a big way, which I’ve found tough to navigate, I may be a ‘millennial’ on paper but that stereotype most certainly doesn’t fit me. I am not very good at social media, no idea what to say where or when, what social trends are or even what ‘the kids’ are talking about. I tend to shy away from popular culture, much more at home in a book or listing to my favourite record which most likely pre dates the computer, I can find myself feeling a little lost whilst trying to connect with the community and grow my brand. But I think I’m getting there… Also meeting new people and connecting to others I find hard, I’ll let you in on a little secret, women terrify me, other women are honestly the one thing that I’m most scared of. I know its crazy but my social anxiety really doesn’t want me to have any friends with breasts and it’s quite frankly, a nightmare. All I want is to be able to be a part of the community and hang out with some of the most gorgeous women on the planet, but I find myself in my own way inferior and that’s something I’ve been really trying to move past this year. Big changes have happened and I’m feeling more comfortable around my fellow companions now, I’ve met some lovely people this year, joined KLE Collective and have actual hope that next year will mark a real change in how I can grow and evolve to be a better version of me. That Madeleine can finally unlock some potential that I’ve been holding back in a way. Guys reading this may find the description odd as I’m very confident when you meet me and I am, that’s true, I’ve never felt the way around men as I do around women. It’s been a real challenge. 

I’ll be honest a lot of this year terrified me! A slump in work (damn you brexit!) would have been easier if I hadn’t also been going through some personal challenges that my regular lovers really supported me through. Now as we know next year is THE big one, I’m turning 30, and with that a whole host of changes are coming. I’ll be dropping a new web page on here January 1st and you’ll see changes on all of my ad’s to do with my work, what I offer and my donation rates. It’s all very exciting and I really do hope that you guys love what I’m planning as much as I’ve loved thinking it all up,  I want 2020 to be special, I really want this transition year to move into one of the best years and I’ll be doing my absolute best to manifest it into being. 

The highlights of 2019 for me have been growing my base on onlyfans and twitter, I’ve really interacted with some amazing people but also when times have been tough, when I was dealing with my family collapsing and really finding it hard to keep that outside of my work, everyone lifted me up and without that I guarantee there may well have been more cancelled dates at the start of 2019 which I was desperately trying to avoid. Another highlight have been my dates outside of London, Glasgow and the South West in particular, such wonderful experiences with outstanding gentlemen, just the cream of the crop. It’s never about who has the most means, but who comes to me with a warm embrace and a keen mind, just taking the time to plan a play date and really explore each other really does make my soul soar.  One highlight I can’t not mention is receiving the biggest gift and one that was so desperately needed on my birthday, the laptop I write this review on right this second! I can’t believe the generosity and kindness that’s been shown to me this year, from fellow companions helping me get new lingerie so I could make new content to strangers sending me a laptop so I could work…. In a year full of struggle and full of genuine concern as to whether I would retain a roof over my head, there was some monumental good deeds and I can’t express enough how thankful I am. These things may seem show off’y to some, or seem like they happen all the time, but this year was the hardest year of my life and without them I probably wouldn’t have got to this point being able to write a very positive, optimistic and reflective review. 

So what do I hope for 2020, dates. Have the dates rain down on me, smother me in dates. Make my diary whimper from the sheer weight of the dates filling it up.  It’s my last 7 months in my 20’s and the start of a whole new adventure, let’s go on them together. I am also hoping to drop some weight, not because of any online abuse (yes it’s happened) but because I want to turn 30 and be what I view as a hotter version of me! healthier, happier and full of abundance. Twenty twenty will be the year where we all prosper, regardless of the darkness sweeping the country, regardless of just how trying this year has been, the next has every chance of being the best that we can make it, more kink, more compassion and lots more love in a world thats slowly becoming devoid of it. Let’s make it, our year.

Madeleine x

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